The Letter

A father passing by his son's bedroom, was astonished to see the bed was nicely made, and that everything was picked up and tidy. Then, he saw an envelope, propped up prominently on the pillow. It was addressed, simply, "Dad"

With the worst premonition, he opened the envelope and read the letter, with trembling hands.

Dear Dad,

It is with great regret and sorrow that I'm writing to you. I had to elope with my new girlfriend, because I wanted to avoid a scene with mom and you. I've been finding real passion with Stacy, and she is so nice, but I knew you would not approve of her, because of all her piercings, tattoos, her motorcycle, and because she is 20 years older than I am.

But it's not only the passion, Dad. She's pregnant. Stacy said that we will be very happy. She owns a trailer in the woods, and has a stack of firewood for the whole winter. We share a dream of having many more children.

Stacy has opened my eyes to the fact that marijuana doesn't really hurt anyone and that making it illegal is just a ploy by the government. We'll be growing it for ourselves, and trading it with the other people in the commune for all the supplies we need. And of course, we will sell some to get money for those things we can't trade for. Marijuana is almost decriminalized so it's not a huge risk.

In the meantime, we'll pray that science will find a permanent cure for Herpes, so Stacy can get better. She sure deserves it! In the meantime, we believe that love means sharing everything -- even disease.

Don't worry Dad, I'm 15, and I know how to take care of myself. Someday, I'm sure we'll be back to visit, so you can get to know your many grandchildren.

Love, your son, Joshua.

P.S. Dad, none of the above is true. I'm over at Jason's house. I just wanted to remind you that there are worse things in life than the school report that's on the kitchen table.

Moral of the Story: Prepare for the worst and anything less will seem almost trivial.

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